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Sunday, March 25, 2012
I am guarded but no longer terrified, no longer in fear of paralysis or wordlessness or alienation - both from myself and others. I step gently, carefully toward tomorrow and what it brings. The wall is coming down, but I know that as well as it can set me free, it can roll over me like an avalanche, bury me in the detritus
of my own poisons and demons as I shed them one by one.
Now, to set about the task of writing it all down, telling my truths, shedding my fears, inviting warmth and comfort and a sense of self that is sure and grounded and good.
I welcome myself home from a dark journey, scarred and questioning and cautious, ever cautious. It is not strength that brings me back. My strength never left me, only buried itself under the wall, hid itself in the dark hole. It was always here. I was always here.
Four weeks ago, I could not walk.