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Sunday, October 23, 2011

I'm Home

I’m back after nearly a month, some the worse for wear.  I have written extensively in my journal about Parrish.  I’m not sure I’m ready to share all the feelings around that.  I’m considering beginning a new blog devoted to him.  
The short version:  
Parrish is back in Florida and enrolled in a program for patients with dual diagnoses complicated by alcohol or drug abuse.  It is 5-1/2 days a week, and he seems to be enjoying it.  He is in a new assisted living facility in Lauderhill.  I think he is okay today.  Today, he sounds sober and well medicated.  Today.
I was down in the back with muscle spasms for much of the time Parrish was in Georgia.  
I fell off a (short) ladder and sprained my right wrist - the one I broke last October.  I’m in a splint and it is slow to heal.
I have made the decision to surrender my rescued Boxer, Sugar, back to Save-A-Pet.  Honey, my 8 year old Lhasa Apso, cannot adjust to him breathing the same air as she does.  For six months, I have tried to make peace between them, but now Sugar is starting to fight back.  Honey is no match for him.  He’s a wonderful dog, and I am already grieving his loss.
Losing Sugar has, I think, reactivated my grief for Clint.
Fall weather is here, and I have once again begun sleeping in The Red Sweater.  It’s warmth and softness give me a feeling of security, a sense of Clint’s presence.  Yes, I still sprinkle it with Old Spice and inhale the scent of my One True Love.  It’s a bittersweet time for me, having the comfort of The Red Sweater along with the emptiness of Clint’s absence.
I still struggle with my loss, shedding tears almost daily.  I am told that one day it will cease being so painful, but I have no yet come to that place.

© 2011 cj Schlottman