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Friday, November 5, 2010

Who's Using Whom?


Two weeks ago, I broke up with my Friend Boy and renamed him my Man Friend - or M-F. Please excuse the double entendre, but it just seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

He rudely walked out of a restaurant where he and Lisa and I were having a late supper. Swine. (Thank God, Lisa had her car). He had been acting petulant and selfish for a couple of months, and that particular action sent me into a fury that I unleashed on him in a text message the next day. Move over, Julia Sugarbaker.

I harangued him about his rudeness, his changing of plans at the last minute, his excessive alcohol consumption, and I told him I could not be friends with someone who was bad for me. I explained that I felt used and taken for granted and that I needed friends who made me feel good about myself. I made it clear to him that he was not good for me. Then I thanked him for helping me get through the first year of my life without Clint, but reiterated that his recent behavior was intolerable to me.

So, there!

Well. After not seeing him for two weeks, and yes, I did miss him, but more like a toothache than anything else, I learned yesterday that we had been seated next to one another at an event this Friday night. What to do? I had not spoken to him, and as per my request, he had not tried to contact me. This could be awkward in about 14 different ways.

So, I texted him that I would be seeing him on Friday night, and that I wanted things to be civil, that he could count on me to be wearing my “company manners.” I said I would be willing to talk, if he were. He phoned me that evening and we chatted about insignificant things for a while - nothing about our problems - and he asked me to go to dinner with him.

On the way to the restaurant he invited me to the Atlanta Symphony on Sunday afternoon to hear Itzak Perlman do a program of Mozart and Devorak! The program consists of Mr. Perlman conducting and performing:
DVOJÁK: Symphony No. 9
MOZART: Adagio in E Major
MOZART: Rondo in C Major and
MOZART: Symphony No. 25 in G minor

We had a lovely evening, talked a little about reshaping our friendship and not seeing so much of each other, thinking we had supersaturated our friendship with too much together time.

I was ecstatic! The Symphony for the New Word was Clint’s favorite piece of symphonic music and he played it often, cranked up loud enough to rattle the windows! All I could think about was how thrilled he would be for me to have an opportunity to hear Perlman conduct it. Clint and I only had one opportunity to hear Mr. Perlman perform live, at the Kennedy Center in Washington back in the 1980’s, and it is a once in a life time opportunity for me to hear him live again.

It seems that good things come in bunches, so I reshaped my very important weekend in Savannah to make arrangements to be back in Macon in time to get to Atlanta to the concert. I even bought a new outfit - paid too much for it!

As for my friendship with the M-F, I am only cautiously optimistic. I'm afraid he has problems I can’t deal with in the long term. But, I am going with him to the symphony and enjoy the hell out of it. Maybe I am using him. I suppose I am, but it’s my turn.

We will see. Stay tuned.

© cj Schlottman


Sue said...

Sounds fair to me! And it will be a wonderful concert for you.


Linda @ A La Carte said...

Good for you! Keep your needs in the forefront and go from there. Enjoy the concert!!

KeLLy aNN said...

as long as you're feeling better that's what matters...

injaynesworld said...

Every guy needs a good ass-kicking from time to time. Maybe yours did him some good. Enjoy it for what it is while it lasts. It sounds like you're in a good place with it.