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Friday, December 25, 2009
#5 Christmas Day - so far
The rain has stopped, at least for now. I sent animated Christmas e-cards to some of my friends. The house doesn’t feel empty - yet. That will happen when everyone arrives and the hole in the room where Poppy should be will get wider and deeper. My wonderful and understanding Deidra is coming to see me this morning. She is the only person who can make me laugh today, she with her animated personality and infectious laugh and her heart full of love. She loved Poppy intensely, and she loves me, too. Maybe she love me too much.
I have had visions of something happening to her, being hurt or killed. When Belle got out of the house yesterday, I immediately assumed the worst - that she was dognapped or dead under a car. Everything is a potential crisis for me. I don’t want these negative and depressing thoughts but they come into my head and I have to shake them away.
Cuz is coming to see me, too. He’s my artist friend from Valdosta whose watercolor masterpieces hang in nearly every room of my house. Clint loved Cuz. He told Cuz good-bye before he died, said he would miss him. Cuz nearly fainted with grief right there on the spot. He will hold my hand and help me through this Christmas thing.