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Saturday, January 8, 2011
Fighting the Slide Backwards
For those who don’t suffer from this cruel condition, it may be news that it doesn’t just affect your spirit. It can make one physically ill also. I shutter to think of working today, grateful that I am at home.
This morning, I forced myself to do some work around the house, but I got so tired, I came to bed and did some computer chores. I am sleepy but unable to sleep.
I’m not really sad, just physically uncomfortable and with an ennui of spirit that has me uninterested in anything. I have both of my phones turned off, having no desire to speak to anyone about anything. My sister-in-law, Lisa, and my nephew, Wil, are coming to stay overnight with me, and all I can imagine is how I will put forth some semblance of normalcy.
I start my new job on Monday (the one I have wished for and am anxious to start) and because we are expecting an ice storm on Sunday night and Monday, I am imagining the worst, fearing driving on the icy roads, wondering if the hospital will send for me if I can’t get out of my driveway. Maybe by then, I will be well enough to view the whole event as an adventure.
I’m attempting to stave this off. I have been writing, doing shitty little jobs that I have put off for months. I’m saving gym, but I am too exhausted to even attempt it. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll wake up as the real me.
I’m going to read some blog posts, something I have been remiss about of late. Maybe that will make my stomach stop hurting.
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